Unfortunately, many men who seem attractive on the
surface are actually strongly homosexual, often
without even knowing it. Men with lean waists,
overdeveloped chests, arms and clean skin are
actually subconsciously obsessed by male bodies.
You should stay far away from men who are athletes
or rock stars, and men who feel compelled to dress
in expensive suits with clean shirts and silk ties.
Polished shoes are another homosexual "tell-tale".
These "men" often have a compulsion to spend money
on sumptuous meals, taxis, and expensive trinkets
to compensate for their affliction, and are often
so insecure that they cannot bear to let a woman
pay for a meal. Experienced, self-confident lovers,
the kind you want, don't need to alter the natural
contours of their bodies. They are content with
slender arms, relaxed chests, and waists with a
comfortable amount of flesh, which can come in
handy during moments of intimacy (why do you think
they call them "love handles"?)
One other tip: Married men can be depended on not
to cause embarrassing rumours about you at home or
school. Men on short business trips are discreet,
grateful, and particularly driven by passion. Look
for them!
HOW..."BIG"...SHOULD A MAN BE?
Don't be shy. It's an important question, and one
surrounded by confusion. The average man's penis
is 2 to 3 inches long. Men substantially larger
than this must often undergo painful surgery to
cure their condition. In thickness, the average
man is somewhat larger than a ball-point pen.
HOW..."LONG"...SHOULD A MAN LAST?
Some men can prolong the sex act beyond the
once-imponderable thirty-second barrier; intercourse
with an experienced man can go for up to forty-five
seconds. Very occasionally you'll find a man who can
"last" as long as a minute. Whatever you do, don't
let your girlfriends know you've landed one of these
desirable "sixty second wonders."
HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M HAVING AN ORGASM?
The female orgasm is a sensation that's very hard to
put into words, but most fulfilled, experienced women
agree that it "feels like something inside of you."
When a man's penis is inside your vagina, or mouth or
buttocks, that is an orgasm. You'll find a really
skilled lover applies the same techniques to love as
a gourmet does to a meal; he "leaves a little something
on your plate." When, after intercourse, you feel a
vague sensation that there could be "more to come,"
that "vaguely unsatisfied" feeling," then you can be
sure you've experienced a sexually memorable adventure.
WHAT IS A MULTIPLE ORGASM?
There is no such thing.
WHAT ABOUT ORAL SEX?
This is one of the most significant differences between
the sexes. If you look at pictures of a man and a woman,
you'll see the a man's penis fits naturally into a
woman's mouth. On the other hand, a man's mouth does
not naturally fit into a woman's vagina. Thus, a woman
orally stimulating a man is performing a "natural" act.
But a man seeking to put his mouth on or near your
vagina is committing an "unnatural" act (why do you
think they call the vagina your "private parts"?)
WHAT IS AFTERPLAY?
Men have many ways of expressing their satisfaction.
His satisfied sigh, followed by a deep, consuming sleep,
is a sure sign that he, and you, are satisfied. Another
example of male "afterplay" is his turning on a football
or hockey game immediately after climax.
Many women find a particularly satisfying post-coital
experience in going into the kitchen and bringing a
nice, cold beer for the man, along with a light snack,
sandwich, crisps and dip, to help her love restore
depleted calories.
WHAT IS IMPOTENCE?
Impotence is what happens when a girl fails to
stimulate her man properly. This can happen when her
figure is not perfect, or when she tries to talk with
him for too long before getting into bed with him. If
this happens, you can help by turning on a sports event
on TV or getting your man a sandwich. Another really
good "foreplay" technique is to invite a really good
looking girl friend over, and do whatever he asks, to
him or to each other, while he watches.
HOW CAN I KEEP THE MYSTERY ALIVE?
One good way to keep things from becoming routine is
to vary your dress. Garter belts, fishnet stockings
(black or red are both suitable colours), lace-up
basques and leather or rubber suits will all help get
your man's attention. Also, don't keep playing "one on
one." Invite your more attractive and energetic girl
friends over to take part. Another technique. and we
think the best, is to use anonymous names. Have your
lover call himself "Mr. Smith." Don't let him tell you
where he lives, or his home telephone number. You'll
find it lends an air of real "mystery" to the affair.
HOW CAN I MEET REAL MEN?
When looking for the ideal man, about twenty-five to
fifty, married, on a business trip, with enough flab
to assure you of his masculinity, go to a 'local' about
8:30 at night. Look around the bar, then, when you've
found your man, unbutton the top three or four buttons
on your blouse, wink at him, walk over and whisper in
his ear, "You're cute can I buy you a drink?" This is a
real conversation icebreaker and things will naturally
progress from here.
SOME OTHER IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:
"If I get pregnant, how do I know who the father is?"
There is absolutely no way to tell.
"What's the best way to keep my teeth and skin looking
healthy and shiny?" One of the best and most frequently
neglected substances is semen. The more you can somehow
get on your teeth and skin, the better you'll look.
"What are some 'loving nicknames' we can use?" You should
always call him, "Mr. Smith" You can also call him, "King
Kong," "Master", or "Stud". Men often call their favourite
lovers, "Hey you" or "Uh, Miss?"
"Where should a man take me?" Because so many homosexual
men like to take their "dates" out for fancy meals, look
for the man who will send you out to KFC or McDonalds for
a snack. That means his mind is not on food, so you know
what he's thinking about.
Also, test your man by offering to pay for the meal -- if
he consents you can be sure you have found yourself a real
man, confident in his own sexuality and not threatened by
a financially independent woman. In these circumstances it
is customary for the woman to reward this concession on
the man's part by performing oral sex on him.
"What happens if he doesn't call?" He may be trying to
keep the romance alive; go out every few weeks to your
'local' and look to see if he's come back. If he doesn't,
find another person who sort of looks like him and maybe
writes computer programs for a living. Note: Male computer
programmers, a category of mate much sought-after by the
more discerning female, can normally be identified by their
apparel -- look for any T-shirt bearing a design with a
computer theme. Finding a truly virile and satisfying lover
can be as simple as keeping your eyes open for a T-shirt
with the words "C++ Programmers Do It With Objects" or
"Code Warrior". When you have identified your target, act
swiftly, or he is sure to be snapped up by some other
young girl -- possibly a prettier one with larger breasts.
So, as soon as you have spotted the tell-tale signs, get
those buttons undone and try the "Can I buy you a drink?"
line: you are sure to have found yourself a new, exciting
lover.